Exploring Intuition, Making Mistakes & Developing Discernment

For me, it has been nuanced and subtle learning what is and what isn't my intuition. Below, I share an example of how I used my intuition a couple years ago. This was before I started consciously working with my own spirit guides. I was winging it! It was September 2019, I had recently finished a road-trip to California and back. Now I was looking for a job back in Minnesota. There was a sandwich shop, Panera Bread, that I wanted to apply for. They had two locations in my town. Naturally I was going to apply to the one closer to me. As I was on their website, getting ready to apply, I had this feeling, this sense, this knowing that I should apply at the one further away instead. I thought about it for a little bit and said screw it, why not. Afterwards I felt content, it felt like I had made a good, in alignment choice. Although not logical. I ended up getting the job shortly after. The store saw a lot of traffic and the days went by quickly. I loved the people I was working with. I later learned that the other location got significantly less traffic than our store. On top of that the manager of the store was also named Graham, making him the second other Graham I have met. ( I still haven't found one spelled my way yet)! To date it is still the most enjoyable job I have had. I don't think I would have had as much fun at the other store. It was well worth the extra 5 minute drive each day.

While working at Panera Bread, I was starting to read A Course In Miracles and I was loving it. A Course in Miracles is a bible of a book, around 1,300 pages. One of the main tenants of the book is how we should ask the Holy Spirit (or our intuition) for help in making decisions. Thus letting the Holy Spirit guide us in our life.

I had been working at Panera Bread for a month now and I was still enjoying it. One morning I thought, you know what, ok, I’m going to ask the Holy Spirit for help and see what kind of guidance I get. I remember as I tuned in, asking for help, the first thought that popped into my head was you should quit your job. That was it. I tuned in, got that I should quit my job, that’s what I think the Holy Spirit wants me to do. I did not like this guidance and instantly I was thinking "no, no I don’t want to quit!" I was not asking myself questions like is this good guidance from a source I can trust? How do I know this is the holy spirit and not my own thoughts? I was in the mindset that this is what I’m being “guided” to do. I was even thinking ah, maybe this is a test to see if I’m committed!

I struggled for a few hours that morning trying to muster the power to quit my job even though every part of me was saying no don’t do it. But again, I was being “guided” in my eyes to do it. Eventually I did call and quit that morning. My manager asked "why? Why are you quitting?" I went well.. this doesn’t make much sense but I’m trying to let the Holy Spirit help me make decisions and I’m being guided to quit. It was difficult to spit those words out. Lol. She was obviously not very receptive to my reasoning.

Looking back, when I felt guided to apply at the store further away, afterwards I felt good. This time after quitting I didn’t have that same, uplifting, “I made a good choice” feeling.

I don’t regret quitting, although it wasn’t a great choice at the time. I’ve learned from that experience to use more discernment when using my intuition or when communicating with my spirit guides. I know now not to believe every thought or feeling that pops up, and instead, to see how the guidance feels and to look at the outcomes of my guided actions. Did things turn out well? And if not why? Was I really being guided? I now know that I was not being guided to quit my job and I was actually being guided to stay! That’s in part why it was so difficult and I felt so conflicted in quitting.

As I was first starting to use my intuition, I thought answers should be clear cut. Either yes do this or no don’t do this. What I have come to realize is there is a spectrum from yes to no. Some actions are a hard and resounding yes, do it! Others are more of a yeah, you could do that. More on the yes than the no side. For example, a publicist recently reached out to me about setting me up a tv interview. I liked the idea, but there was a significant financial cost I would have to pay to move forward with it. I tuned into my guides on the manner. The answer I got was I could do it if I wanted to, or I could leave it. It was a little more "no" then "yes" on the yes-no spectrum. I ended up declining the opportunity for the time being. I don't think it would have been bad if I decided to do the interview. In fact, I feel I would have learned a lot from it. For the moment though, it doesn't feel like the most optimal route to take, and that's ok. It's been interesting working with my intuition and spirit guides. I've made some poor decisions based on "guidance" and some good ones. I don't think there is any way around making mistakes, and in the end, those mistakes are beneficial if we can learn from them.